I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
