Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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