Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
