the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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