My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
