I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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