I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's no shave November. This is our time.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
