mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
