happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
third nipple confirmed
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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