Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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