That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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