so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
