I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
