Who wears a wallet chain?!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
What drink are we having for lunch?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
