dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize