I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The struggles of a small town man whore
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
