You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize