My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
