Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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