It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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