Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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