If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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