Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize