Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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