May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
