Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
