Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
