i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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