Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
