yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
