HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
