I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I wear drunk well.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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