but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
