I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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