RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
