there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
