I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
