Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Shame - the story of my life.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
