Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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