why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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