legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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