Cold hands, warm shart.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
