did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
