I could have mohawked her pubes.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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