I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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