saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
