Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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