if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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