i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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