YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
