Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
