how can u be prego again
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
