we're blogging at a bar
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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