I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
