You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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