He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
