guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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