the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize