omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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