Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
