dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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