Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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