We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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