What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
