Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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