I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This toilet bowl is my home.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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