woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
