She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
