um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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