the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
