Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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