I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
