I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
