i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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