my vag is so smooth its legendary
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just pee around me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize