Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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