Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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